October 18th’s post gave an update on the physical house we are building on 37th Drive; this one is the long-awaited introduction to the social “household” we are building there.

The greek word for “household” is “oikos”, but it carries much more freight than the pedestrian english term. Oikos always implies those who live under your roof: the nuclear family, household servants (harking back to Greek and Roman empires, your slaves were part of your oikos too), houseguests, extended family who live with you. But it can have the wider connotation of all those with whom you share a social tie, rippling out in concentric circles of closeness: people you work with, your friends and family far and near... and in ancient koine greek texts, it assumed your geographic neighbors too.

In this modern era of frequent migration and 90-minute commutes, it’s rare to get to know your neighbors in the same way our ancestors knew theirs. Modern methods of communication (telephone & internet in particular) let us keep in close contact with folks far from us, filling up our friendship capacity so that there is no room in our schedules hearts or minds for yet another relationship, particularly with the person who just happens to live next door (for now). We no longer need to know our neighbors; we hardly have time or energy to do so anyway, anymore. More importantly, many people don’t even want to know their neighbors. Modern society and technology gives us the luxury of building relationships only with folks we like, or folks we want to know. And as our neighborhoods become more culturally diverse (isn’t that a nice term?), we feel we have less and less in common with the odd and often irritating folks who live down the street.

Yet there are good reasons to know your neighbors. Most obviously, you share with them any experience that affects your whole block: this is suddenly both urgent and important when it is a big tragedy like those in the news these days, or even something more localized like an apartment complex catching fire, a water main bursting, a sinkhole opening in the middle of the street. Even if it’s just a blackout, you find yourself thrown into it with your neighbors. Will they be strangers then, or friends already?

There are other less melodramatic resons to want to know your neighbors, of course. Can you think of any?

Finally, an update on the namesake of this blog: the actual house/home/oikos we are building!

First, as a family we have really enjoyed the rain this weekend... but it has probably damaged our foundation diggings. I'll go by there tomorrow and photograph it, see how it has held up in the downpour. It seems like every time we get close to pouring concrete, something delays us. At least this time it was Mother Nature instead of an inspector.

That said, we really have made a decent amount of progress in the past month. Here's what it looked like in September, when our pads passed compression/moisture tests and we began putting in the forms:

Here's a shot of Lugo, the concrete-&-foundation guy, and his sidekick Miguel. These guys have worked hard and fast, making up for a lot of the time lost waiting for inspections etc. Behind Lugo you can see the alley stretching to the east of us:

...and here's the other side, the alley going west from the back of our lot:

As you can see, one of the issues in the future will be the condition of the alley. Actually, it's looking great in these photos: the City recently cleaned it up and dumped aggregate to fill the huge potholes from last Spring. But by midwinter it will be deeply rutted again, standing stagnant water, garbage, broken furniture dumped in heaps, etc. I'm hoping to convince the city to pave it and even install locked gates at each end to prevent the illegal dumping. They have done this to other alleys nearby, and it makes a huge difference.

See last week's post for the most recent photo of our house (pre-downpour!).

But, as I have said before, building the physical house is just one part of our task. We are also building a home, a family to dwell in the physical house (that's the family updates etc. that have been most common on this blog), and a social connection to the neighborhood too. I'll soon post more on that latter concept.

Our house at 37th Drive is coming along okay. The rebar for the foundation slabs is in, the piers passed inspection, and the in-slab rough plumbing will be finished soon (note the black drain pipes sticking up).

A few quick updates:
1. Kathryn's grandmother Quinica Drake had a wonderful memorial service in Bremerton WA, October 2nd. Kathryn and Nathaniel flew up there for it, I stayed in LA with the two younger kids.
2. Since I was here in LA that weekend, I tried to attend the October 1st benefit concert/art exhibit for which I wrote a press release (see Sept.16 blogpost). I was a tad hurried, so I just ran the address through BikeMetro.com and took off across town on my trusty Xtracycle. Interesting tour of the gallery district of downtown LA, but I did not find Selah AGC! Gave up, went home, checked their website... and found the clever set of directions without which my search was hopeless. Oh well. Next time I'll know better.
3. Tessera is doing okay too, even though I have not had much time to devote to helping out. I hope to announce our first writers' event, and maybe share other good news, next month.

Finally, here's Armando and Joy at the duck-feeding pier, Playa Del Rey lagoon.
Enjoy!

I'm still angry at the humans and the social structures that wrenched Youssef Ihsn, Ilyass Bylyn, and Sabah Daly away from the parents God provided for them. It's a good thing I'm half a world away from them, or I'd make a fool of myself. It is WRONG WRONG WRONG, and the details are merely details, not excuses; an explanation, not a recision, of the deep hurt that has been done to the Deininger children. I cannot imagine the pain that Scott and Stephanie carry home with them. My mind recoils from imagining it, but my heart embraces it and goes out to them.

If you are reading this, Steph and Scott, I don't blame you— I hurt for you. I know you did all you could. Part of my anger is at the helplessness of parents in the face of inimical social systems that wrench apart and grind down families. Let me know how I can help. (me, another helpless parent!)

Oh my goodness. I just read an email column by David Timms, my advisor at Hope International University, which cut me to the heart. Simply nailed me. Being a basically self-centered person (i.e. fully human) my first thought was "everyone else must know this too!" ...moments later it occurred to me that I might be the last idiot with this hangup, and it may well be such common knowledge to everyone reading my blog that they just assumed I got it too.

Well, now I get it. Now I have clarity about uncertainty. Here is the text of David's column, sans all the cool formatting. If you want the real thing, email him and ask, he'll send it. To subscribe, send him an email with "subscribe to In HOPE" in the subject line. It's brief, deep, free, no ads or spam of any kind, and it's not an official publication of the university. Wish he would podcast it.

Here it is;

"The real 'work' of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good things about me ... and thereby discover an identity anchored in a place beyond all human praise and blame." (Henri Nouwen)

I Want Clarity

Our pursuit of clarity may be one of our greatest idolatries.

We may not gaze at crystal balls or study Tarot cards, but many of us are just as eager to "know the future" as our unbelieving counterparts. We pray, and pray hard, that God will "reveal His will" by which we mean that He'll give us a glimpse of the future and the best course of action in a given circumstance.

We don't want to make a mistake, and so find ourselves walking by sight (clarity) and not by faith (trust).

The Scriptures applaud Abraham because he obeyed God and started travelling despite "not knowing where he was going" (Heb 11.8). Similarly, many others trusted God with their lives (and deaths) despite not receiving "what was promised" (Heb 11.39) In short, they were clear about who God is and His call on their lives - and they simply trusted everything else to Him.

Brennan Manning, in his book Ruthless Trust, tells the story of the brilliant ethicist John Kavanaugh who went to work for three months at "the house of the dying" in Calcutta. He wanted to know how best to spend the rest of his life.

On his first morning, he met Mother Teresa and she asked, "What can I do for you?" Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him. "And what do you want me to pray for?" she asked. He expressed the deepest desire of his heart: "Pray that I have clarity."

She said firmly, "No, I will not do that." Kavanaugh was taken aback. Mother Teresa continued, "Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of. " When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."

So often we want clarity - "If I choose this school, how will it affect my future? If we get married, will it work out? If we move there, will it be OK? If I take that job, will I be happy?" As leaders, we too idolize "clarity." We grow anxious if our vision is not fulfilled. We want clarity that our choices and decisions will lead to success.

In the midst of it all, Christ calls us simply to trust him, with a ruthless trust.

As the crucifixion loomed, the disciples were confused and anxious. They thought they had clarity about the Kingdom ... and would have liked confirmation. Jesus would oust the Romans and liberate the Jews into the glorious messianic age. Right? More persecution and death was not part of the script. But Jesus simply refocused them with these foundational words: "Don't be stressed about what lies ahead; trust God, and trust Me" (Jn 14.1). Will we?

In HOPE -
David

Well. several blogtopics today. These past couple of days have been full, of activity and emotion.

First, Kathryn's grandmother Quinica Drake died, around 8am Wednesday morning. Props to Tim and Janet Goddu, who must have had an angelic visitation or something and sent us a touching card even before we formally told anyone what had happened. (Thanks!) She was 92 years old and has been in failing health for almost a year now. She died quietly and peacefully in her bed, holding her son David's hand (that's Kathryn's dad). She will be sorely missed. No word yet on whether/when there will be a memorial service; she arranged to donate her body to science.

Next, Hurricane Katrina's effects are felt as far as here, in the form of a sudden increase in building materials' costs. Vast amounts are already set aside to rebuild New Orleans, including (at one point) virtually all the drywall in Southern California wholesaler's inventory. Production appears to be catching up with demand now, but for one day this past week (yup, Wednesday), we were told the drywall we wanted to order was not available... at any price. Just not available! Except for existing dealer stock in retail builder outlets, prices for which I'm sure have shot through the roof, tho I haven't checked myself.

Then I enjoyed a terrific Tessera meeting at The Grove, Wednesday night. Things are coming together, and looking good. What a great group of people, too. As events are planned I'll post them in the "Events" section of this blog.

Thursday night was Back to School Night at LACS, and again I was not needed to translate! Teachers are learning Spanish, and parents are learning English, and some new school staff speak only Spanish, and some parents only English, and somehow we all meet in the middle and understand each other. Mandatory parent volunteering was introduced this year, and was equably received. I'm actually looking forward to finding fun ways of "doing my time" every quarter: the menu of opportunities to serve was creative, varied and mostly appealing.

Finally, sometime today I will be sending out a press release about "An Evening of Music to Support the Survivors of Hurricane Katrina". When I do I will make it a post as well, so all of you will get it too. (how's that for maximum coverage!) That's also in the Events section of this blog. Hope to see you there, if you can make it.

Lots more writing projects in the pipeline. Some of them I'll share here or at TesseraReview.
Grace and strength, that's what these times demand.
Will we seek them?

Much as I love Dominic's music, it is high time to change the site song. Now that I am finally done with my intensive summer course at HIU (Sept.11 was my last big deadline) I can pay attention to stuff like blog maintenance, at least for a little while.

The new site song you hear (might have to turn your volume up) is called The Great Painter, by the magical but short-lived band Mateo (Phil “Folkmaster” Epstein, front man and lead guitar).
As I listened to this song for the first time in years, it moved me to tears (again). Partly because of the power of the song itself, it connects to me personally.
Partly because of the memories it revives, of Mateo at the first-ever NUPC Coffee House Night: that magic evening was truly the high-water mark of that church in so many ways, at least that I was ever privileged to experience.
But partly, I cry because the quality of my recording is so bad, it does no justice to the real song! Had we known what a great and rare evening it would be, we would have prepared better, spent more time on the sound check to make sure all the tracks were coming through on the tape, etc. etc. As it turned out, that live performance was Mateo’s first and last public gig. But what a gig! What a night! They never did a proper studio recording.
Phil, Russ, Mike, Emily, Anna, Sarah, I honor you guys. May Mateo rise again someday, and get the billing it deserves. You will always have an open invitation to come jam at our house, out on the front porch where all the (nearby) world can hear you.

What does this song have to do with this house? It parallels our spiritual journey (both mine and Kathryn's), leaving comfort behind for the sake of peace, leaving the loves of our lives for the Love of Life, not being understood by so many close to us, full of questions but sure of where we need to go. And when our spirits swell up to break the surface of our civilized veneer, you hear the same cry on our lips: “I need to know God!”

Mateo’s prayer at the end of the song is ours for you.
Post a comment and share your soulsongs too.

Back in June our house was tented for termites, and the process killed all the plants that were too close to the house. After walking (or zooming) past it for months, Nathaniel noticed this against our front porch yesterday:

...then he came inside and wrote a haiku about it!

Roses straight and tall
no longer have life at all;
Plain, hard, gray roses.

What sort of poem might be written about the quality of my life, or yours, if someone caught a clear unvarnished glimpse of its essence?

A good reminder to live life as a "poema", to make it a masterpiece, the life we've always wanted. John Ortberg actually wrote a book about that, which I look forward to reading someday.

That someday is sooner because of this haiku, I must admit!

When fishing for compliments, bait your hook very carefully.

This morning Kathryn wore a new outfit, a rare thing in our non-shopper household. None of our kids noticed. She finally said to Armando, "Hey, do you like these new clothes I'm wearing?"

Armando said "Oh! Oh yeah, looks great mom, much better than that thing you wore yesterday."

Yesterday Kathryn wore the other of the two new outfits. They are very similar.

Well, I think she looks great. I mean, that the clothes look great.
Oh forget it.