September 30, 2005
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Oh my goodness. I just read an email column by David Timms, my advisor at Hope International University, which cut me to the heart. Simply nailed me. Being a basically self-centered person (i.e. fully human) my first thought was "everyone else must know this too!" ...moments later it occurred to me that I might be the last idiot with this hangup, and it may well be such common knowledge to everyone reading my blog that they just assumed I got it too.
Well, now I get it. Now I have clarity about uncertainty.
Here is the text of David's column, sans all the cool formatting. If you want the real thing, email him and ask, he'll send it. To subscribe, send him an email with "subscribe to In HOPE" in the subject line. It's brief, deep, free, no ads or spam of any kind, and it's not an official publication of the university. Wish he would podcast it. Here it is;
"The real 'work' of prayer is to become silent and listen to the voice that says good things about me ... and thereby discover an identity anchored in a place beyond all human praise and blame." (Henri Nouwen)
I Want Clarity
Our pursuit of clarity may be one of our greatest idolatries.
We may not gaze at crystal balls or study Tarot cards, but many of us are just as eager to "know the future" as our unbelieving counterparts. We pray, and pray hard, that God will "reveal His will" by which we mean that He'll give us a glimpse of the future and the best course of action in a given circumstance.
We don't want to make a mistake, and so find ourselves walking by sight (clarity) and not by faith (trust).
The Scriptures applaud Abraham because he obeyed God and started travelling despite "not knowing where he was going" (Heb 11.8). Similarly, many others trusted God with their lives (and deaths) despite not receiving "what was promised" (Heb 11.39) In short, they were clear about who God is and His call on their lives - and they simply trusted everything else to Him.
Brennan Manning, in his book Ruthless Trust, tells the story of the brilliant ethicist John Kavanaugh who went to work for three months at "the house of the dying" in Calcutta. He wanted to know how best to spend the rest of his life.
On his first morning, he met Mother Teresa and she asked, "What can I do for you?" Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him. "And what do you want me to pray for?" she asked. He expressed the deepest desire of his heart: "Pray that I have clarity."
She said firmly, "No, I will not do that." Kavanaugh was taken aback. Mother Teresa continued, "Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of. " When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."
So often we want clarity - "If I choose this school, how will it affect my future? If we get married, will it work out? If we move there, will it be OK? If I take that job, will I be happy?" As leaders, we too idolize "clarity." We grow anxious if our vision is not fulfilled. We want clarity that our choices and decisions will lead to success.
In the midst of it all, Christ calls us simply to trust him, with a ruthless trust.
As the crucifixion loomed, the disciples were confused and anxious. They thought they had clarity about the Kingdom ... and would have liked confirmation. Jesus would oust the Romans and liberate the Jews into the glorious messianic age. Right? More persecution and death was not part of the script. But Jesus simply refocused them with these foundational words: "Don't be stressed about what lies ahead; trust God, and trust Me" (Jn 14.1). Will we?
In HOPE -
David
Comments (4)
I'm feeling you...I want clarity/sight/will of God in my life. I can see how it can easily become an idol: wanting to know the will of God for your life. i.e. next steps more than knowing God himself. I can see that is something we all need to be aware of. Thanks for sharing.
Hi Brent! Thanks for posting. Good luck on your boba hunt.
Yeah, the clarity thing is the most persistent clutch on our lives! Each of us drags a boatload of aborted and discarded lessons in clarity... as we pursue another attempt at a clear future. Bah!
Without trying to appear boastful, I have been flattened soooooooo many times in my efforts to see and prepare for the future, that I think there's a glimmer of hope (for my future) of getting what David is talking. Of course, the glimmer must remain a present breath used to take the step in faith - and that is enough.
More recently I have thought of my life as climbing Mt. Everest. The last 150 feet is not one of seeing and sailing to the top - if it is, you get blown off the mountain. And it is not one done solitarily. Man, if God is not with you, you're done. And the team.... ah, the team. Then, you have had to prepare for the trek in the first place.... lifelong preparation, coaching, accountability, etc. You don't want to get stuck in the past, but you must learn from and study the past. Your equipment has to be superb, your conditioning excellent. With each step requires DISCIPLINE and acute attention....you must - you have to - you'll die if you do not remain PRESENT! The air is so thin....
Anyway, enough babbling.
Oh, no babbling there, Sally. It's right on. Reminds me of my brother JP's perspective on life: he's a backcountry hiker/skier (telemark) and technical rockclimber, too. He often uses wilderness metaphors to good effect. Life is less of a recipe and more of a wilderness than most modern folks are willing to admit, I think. It just isn't true that you can put X ingredients in, bake in a warm social environment for Y years, and voila, a well done life.
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